I am posting from Heavens

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Ignoramus1764 » Mon, 23 May 2011 22:18:20



Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
wiring.

Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Ed Huntres » Mon, 23 May 2011 22:55:47



Quote:
> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
> wiring.

> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

Phwew! Jeez, it's hot down here. It's a good thing I was ready with my Nomex
fire suit.

Hey, it's not as bad as I thought. I walked through the door and they handed
me a Martini and a beautiful girl. But the hell of it is that the Martini
glass has a hole in the bottom, but the girl....

--
Ed Huntress

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Larry Jaque » Mon, 23 May 2011 22:59:08


On Sun, 22 May 2011 08:18:20 -0500, Ignoramus17643

Quote:

>Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>wiring.

The big question is "Was your wife transported with you?", eh?
Will you be milling or drilling the ***s, sir?  If the latter,
you'll want to do it manually, I'd think.

Quote:
>Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

Yeah, where the HELL are you going to find an electrician in Heaven?

Quote:
>I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

Oh, post it, sir and be deluged!

--
The only reason we die, is because we accept death as an inevitability.
                                                    -- Seth MacFarlane

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Roger » Mon, 23 May 2011 23:09:49



Quote:
> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
> wiring.

> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing the
Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that plainly
says "no man knows the day or hour".

RogerN

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Ignoramus1764 » Mon, 23 May 2011 23:12:19



Quote:
> On Sun, 22 May 2011 08:18:20 -0500, Ignoramus17643

>>Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>>my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>>transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>>***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>>wiring.

> The big question is "Was your wife transported with you?", eh?
> Will you be milling or drilling the ***s, sir?  If the latter,
> you'll want to do it manually, I'd think.

I would not say exactly "manually".

Quote:

>>Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

> Yeah, where the HELL are you going to find an electrician in Heaven?

Yep, good point.

Quote:

>>I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

> Oh, post it, sir and be deluged!

I have an appointment with God the day after tomorrow, and I was told
that I can recommend up to three good people. That's a little hint as
to why you need to send those donations!

i

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Ignoramus1764 » Mon, 23 May 2011 23:14:35



Quote:


>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>> wiring.

>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

> What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing the
> Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that plainly
> says "no man knows the day or hour".

I would say, good question. Lots of suckers were made to look bad
yesterday.

i

 
 
 

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Post by Jeff R » Tue, 24 May 2011 00:04:32



Quote:
> What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing
> the Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that
> plainly says "no man knows the day or hour".

> RogerN

Is that the the *only* contradiction/ anomaly you can't figure out about the
bible?

Wow.

You can't have read very much of it, then.

--
Jeff R.
What *I* can't figure out is how anyone can believe that any of it is
"divine".

 
 
 

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Post by Ignoramus1764 » Tue, 24 May 2011 01:19:12



Quote:
> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
> wiring.

> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

They let me peek into hell. I saw Osama there. He is surrounded by
very horny ***s. However, all those ***s are 65 years old.
 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Doug Mill » Tue, 24 May 2011 02:52:43


Quote:



>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>> wiring.

>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

>What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing the
>Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that plainly
>says "no man knows the day or hour".

He addresses that question on his website. What he says is baloney, of course,
but he does talk about that.

The more interesting thing from my viewpoint is that he imagines that he found
the numbers he bases his calculation on in the Bible. IMHO, there's some
*serious* psychopathology involved there...

 
 
 

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Post by Larry Jaque » Tue, 24 May 2011 03:14:39


On Sun, 22 May 2011 09:12:19 -0500, Ignoramus17643

Quote:


>> On Sun, 22 May 2011 08:18:20 -0500, Ignoramus17643

>>>Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>>>my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>>>transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>>>***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>>>wiring.

>> The big question is "Was your wife transported with you?", eh?
>> Will you be milling or drilling the ***s, sir?  If the latter,
>> you'll want to do it manually, I'd think.

>I would not say exactly "manually".

Orally, then?   I didn't know you had Franch ***.

Quote:
>>>Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

>> Yeah, where the HELL are you going to find an electrician in Heaven?

>Yep, good point.

Lawyers and politicians are equally sparse up there, I hear.

Quote:
>>>I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

>> Oh, post it, sir and be deluged!

>I have an appointment with God the day after tomorrow, and I was told
>that I can recommend up to three good people. That's a little hint as
>to why you need to send those donations!

God'd like that. He apparently allows *** or relidjus folks in
L.A. couldn't have spent that $465M on a single church. I understand
he has an equally loose morals code. Ask any Catholic priest, eh?
<wink>

--
The only reason we die, is because we accept death as an inevitability.
                                                    -- Seth MacFarlane

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Larry Jaque » Tue, 24 May 2011 03:18:09


On Sun, 22 May 2011 11:19:12 -0500, Ignoramus17643

Quote:


>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>> wiring.

>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

>They let me peek into hell. I saw Osama there. He is surrounded by
>very horny ***s. However, all those ***s are 65 years old.

Yeah, but how many were human OR female?

--
The only reason we die, is because we accept death as an inevitability.
                                                    -- Seth MacFarlane

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Ed Huntres » Tue, 24 May 2011 04:07:38



Quote:




>>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>>> wiring.

>>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in
>>> heavens?

>>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

>>What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing
>>the
>>Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that plainly
>>says "no man knows the day or hour".

> He addresses that question on his website. What he says is baloney, of
> course,
> but he does talk about that.

> The more interesting thing from my viewpoint is that he imagines that he
> found
> the numbers he bases his calculation on in the Bible. IMHO, there's some
> *serious* psychopathology involved there...

But more on the part of his followers. He, after all, has built a $42
million empire by feeding them that stuff. d8-)

--
Ed Huntress

 
 
 

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Post by Jim Wilkin » Tue, 24 May 2011 05:16:22



Quote:

> ...>
> They let me peek into hell. I saw Osama there. He is surrounded by
> very horny ***s. However, all those ***s are 65 years old.

Goats don't live that long.
 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Hawk » Tue, 24 May 2011 05:37:44



Quote:


>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>> wiring.

>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in heavens?

>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

> What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing the
> Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that plainly
> says "no man knows the day or hour".

> RogerN

Why, that's the beauty of the bible and all the other "holy" books as
well. Since they're all written by men, no argument there, it's also up
to men to tell you what they mean. That leaves the door wide open to
interpret what is written any darn way you want, and there is no one to
say you're wrong.

You can read some lines and think you understand it perfectly. Then
someone comes along and tells you it means the exact opposite. Both of
you are right. Because it means what anyone wants it to, what that
really means is that it means nothing. You can use it any way you want
to and you're never really wrong.

That's what is so attractive about believing those kind of books. They
can be interpreted to mean anything you want it to. That's why a certain
type of people are so drawn to them. They can use the book to validate
their beliefs. Conversely, other people see this ambiguity and
understand that these books serve no real purpose other than to make the
people who believe in them feel good.

Hawke

 
 
 

I am posting from Heavens

Post by Roger » Tue, 24 May 2011 06:52:18



Quote:



>>> Unexpectedly, a powerful force picked me up yesterday. I and a few of
>>> my earthly possessions, such as my Bridgeport Interact mill, were
>>> transported to the heavens. I am now surrounded by angels and
>>> ***s. Not sure who to start with first, ***s or Bridgeport
>>> wiring.

>>> Where are the electric outlets here? And how do I do grounding in
>>> heavens?

>>> I urgently need your donations, paypal address provided upon request.

>> What I can't figure out is how someone can set a date based on believing
>> the
>> Bible says something it doesn't say, but not believe the part that
>> plainly
>> says "no man knows the day or hour".

>> RogerN

> Why, that's the beauty of the bible and all the other "holy" books as
> well. Since they're all written by men, no argument there, it's also up to
> men to tell you what they mean. That leaves the door wide open to
> interpret what is written any darn way you want, and there is no one to
> say you're wrong.

> You can read some lines and think you understand it perfectly. Then
> someone comes along and tells you it means the exact opposite. Both of you
> are right. Because it means what anyone wants it to, what that really
> means is that it means nothing. You can use it any way you want to and
> you're never really wrong.

> That's what is so attractive about believing those kind of books. They can
> be interpreted to mean anything you want it to. That's why a certain type
> of people are so drawn to them. They can use the book to validate their
> beliefs. Conversely, other people see this ambiguity and understand that
> these books serve no real purpose other than to make the people who
> believe in them feel good.

> Hawke

But what you are describing is what liberals have done with pretty much
everything including the constitution, history, truth, 2nd amendment,
separation of church and state, and the Bible.  Liberals don't seem to
believe in victims rights, only the criminals rights, they take what is good
and call it evil, and take what is evil and call it good.  The Bible isn't
difficult to understand for the most part unless you apply liberal thinking.
But to a liberal the story of Jack and Jill is about environmental damage
caused to the hill from two kids tumbling down it, it's really screwed up
thinking.

RogerN