It is good to be a seeker, but sooner or later you have to be a
finder. It is only then that you will be able to give the gift of
yourself to someone in the world who is willing to accept it.
If you are trying to change or accept anything about yourself or your
life, the best place to start is to learn the art of letting go. You
will need this skill every day of your life, so learn and practice &
practice and learn.
Learning how to let go is the beginning of knowledge. Wisdom is found
in the actual act of letting go. If you argue with that statement,
think back to all the times you tried to let go and failed. Each time
you failed, you learned something. When you finally made it, you were
wiser, weren't you? You could know everything there is to know about
letting go, but until you do something and until you act on knowledge
it is useless. Knowledge is learning how to let go; wisdom comes
after you have done it.
This is a little story about letting go and gaining strength. I have
personally referred back to this story many times over the years and
it has carried me through what could have been more painful and
difficult situations and relationships in my life.
Human nature can be a funny thing sometimes. You and I are so
different, yet so much alike. I think sometimes you wonder if I really
understand the things that you feel or are going through. YES, I ve
been there usually out of fear, need or greed, nonetheless... I've
been there. I have done exactly what you are doing. Like you, I
usually had to be pushed out or have it become so unbearably painful
that I have no other choice then I would let go.
I am often reminded of how a Gulf Coast Blue Crab grows. When it
outgrows it s present shell, it has to shed this old shell and grow a
new one. IT HAS TO LET GO COMPLETELY, hold on to absolutely nothing
all the way down to its fingers and claws. It has to let go of the
But can you imagine to have a choice in this situation? I am afraid I
would want to hang on to the old shell until the end wouldn't you?
Just think of yourself, knowing that to live, you have to let go of
your comfort. familiarity and protection. But also knowing that to
stay in the old shell would limit you so to the point that eventually
you would suffocate and die.
Growth for the crab is very difficult. It has to risk shedding its old
familiar shell and become a soft crab againand and be vulnerable. To
survive, it has to go to the bottom, go into the mud and be associated
with other crabs also on the bottom. The surviving crab must learn to
have faith that its shell will become firmer and larger each hour. It
develops a faith in its pain while it is growing and maturing and
learns to believe that it will be prepared for what is currently
unknown to it.
For me, letting go is an ongoing process. I don't know why it is so
difficult to let go, until I begin to hold on to something or someone
again. I not only hold on to people, places or things, I hold on to
beliefs beliefs that worked for years but are no longer useful to me.
The crab story helps me understand that for the rest of my life I will
be growing and like it or not, there with be changes taking place and
with these changes there might be pain. What surprises me is that I
can sometimes let go and experience the feelings with gratitude. When
I remember that pain is necessary for growth, I get e***d about what
is in the future for me. Sometimes I can't wait to shed my shell,
learn what I need to learn and get the old shell behind me. I hope
that you can relate to some of this. When someone is trying to shed
their shell, they are also trying to grow. If you don't let go, you
may one day find yourself holding on to an empty, dying old shell.
When we cling on to someone else, we slow him or her down and
ourselves as well.
To let go of another person, you must have no suggestions for them
whatsoever; no arguments; no if you would only; no someday you will;
no nothing. You have no advice for him/her nothing more to teach or
learn from this person. Remember, any struggle, any you ought's; any
you shoulds any anything will keep you both where you are right now
struggling to get out of a shell that no longer fits. You have no
solutions for anyone else at this moment in time.
This is about YOU and YOUR growth.
We simply must shed our own shells and grow. Remember, down to the
ends of your fingers and claws, you must release any thought of
holding on. Just think of letting go and growing stronger and moving
on with your life and experiencing what the world has waiting for you.
You may let go just so much, feel the fear of the unknown and want to
cling on more than ever before. Not so, this is your time to grow and
be strong. Remember, you have no suggestions on when and how someone
else should shed their shells and grow.
This is about YOU and YOUR growth.
When you finally let go or get kicked off enough times, you will go
through the pain and begin growing your bright, clean, beautiful, new
larger shell. This time you will be free. Free enough to swim wherever
you choose, with knowledge enough to guide you there. You will have a
shell large enough to feel confident in yourself and to grow within.
You will be so beautiful that others will ask you how you got that
way. They will want to learn from you how to let go of their old
shells that have become too small to live in so that they too can grow
and experience a wonderful life.
An important thing to remember and think about, just to keep you
humble. One day you will outgrow this beautiful new shell. However,
each time you have outgrown a shell, you will go through some pain but
it will never be as difficult or as painful as the first time.