OT: prayer request

OT: prayer request

Post by DiMa » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:09:14



Prayers and comforting thought from Aust.

--
Di
I'm creative!  You can't expect me to be neat too.
Vic Australia
To reply please remove # in email address.

message

Quote:
>I had a very tense discussion with my mother last night - tense
> because she called after 10pm and the only thing she said was, "Are
> you going to be up for a little while so I can call you when I get
> home?"  OK, ever since we got married, my husband and I have had a "no
> calls after 10pm unless it's an emergency" rule - we got married in
> 1997 and there are 2 relatives who consistently break this rule....my
> mother and one of his brothers (his brother can't seem to remember the
> time difference...they are an hour ahead of us and he keeps getting it
> mixed up).

> So, I reminded her of the rule and asked if someone was dying or ill
> or if she had wrecked her car again (she recently blacked out at the
> wheel and instead of calling me - THAT would be considered an
> emergency - she posted on FACEBOOK about it!!!!), she hung up on me.

> I called her back and she gave me attitude about my response.  I asked
> what was wrong and she said that she had gotten some news from her
> doctor.  NOW, if she had said, "I have news from the doctor and I want
> to call you so we can talk about it when I get home" (she was using
> her OnStar at the time), then there would have been no problem, but
> that is NOT what she said.

> Ok...to make a long story short (and save you all the guilt trip ***
> she dumped on me), her doctor informed her that she has a growth on
> the lower right quadrant of her cerebellum, and that is what could be
> causing a lot of the issues she has been having - vision, low oxygen
> levels, balance problems, etc.  They are doing an MRI with contrast on
> Friday morning at 8am to determine the size and exact location and to
> see if they can operate on it.

> I told her that I wanted her to call me when she got any information
> and if/when they decide to do surgery, I will find a way to get up
> there (even if it means pulling the kids from school and enrolling
> them locally for a while).  In typical Mabel fashion (Mabel was her
> mother who cried and tried to guilt people into doing whatever she
> wanted, even knowing full well it wasn't good for her...Mabel was a
> diabetic who ignored ALL doctors' advice and eventually died from
> complications of diabetes), she said that I didn't need to be there,
> not to go out of my way, and then she hung up on me.

> Whatever

> However, she IS my mother (remember, we can choose our friends, but we
> can't choose our families) and by HER choice I am an only child.
> Therefore, yes, I do have to be there if/when she has surgery

> So....if you could keep her (and I guess me) in your prayers, it would
> be greatly appreciated.

> Thanks

> Larisa, still steaming mad

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by dealer8 » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:12:54


Prayers for you and your mom going up!  Donna

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by gaw93.. » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:48:16


Holding you and your mom in my thoughts. Many of us have a family
member [or two] like your mother.
We can only choose how we respond to their button-pushing attempts.

Ginger in CA


Quote:

> I had a very tense discussion with my mother last night - tense
> because she called after 10pm and the only thing she said was, "Are
> you going to be up for a little while so I can call you when I get
> home?" ?OK, ever since we got married, my husband and I have had a "no
> calls after 10pm unless it's an emergency" rule - we got married in
> 1997 and there are 2 relatives who consistently break this rule....my
> mother and one of his brothers (his brother can't seem to remember the
> time difference...they are an hour ahead of us and he keeps getting it
> mixed up).

> So, I reminded her of the rule and asked if someone was dying or ill
> or if she had wrecked her car again (she recently blacked out at the
> wheel and instead of calling me - THAT would be considered an
> emergency - she posted on FACEBOOK about it!!!!), she hung up on me.

> I called her back and she gave me attitude about my response. ?I asked
> what was wrong and she said that she had gotten some news from her
> doctor. ?NOW, if she had said, "I have news from the doctor and I want
> to call you so we can talk about it when I get home" (she was using
> her OnStar at the time), then there would have been no problem, but
> that is NOT what she said.

> Ok...to make a long story short (and save you all the guilt trip ***
> she dumped on me), her doctor informed her that she has a growth on
> the lower right quadrant of her cerebellum, and that is what could be
> causing a lot of the issues she has been having - vision, low oxygen
> levels, balance problems, etc. ?They are doing an MRI with contrast on
> Friday morning at 8am to determine the size and exact location and to
> see if they can operate on it.

> I told her that I wanted her to call me when she got any information
> and if/when they decide to do surgery, I will find a way to get up
> there (even if it means pulling the kids from school and enrolling
> them locally for a while). ?In typical Mabel fashion (Mabel was her
> mother who cried and tried to guilt people into doing whatever she
> wanted, even knowing full well it wasn't good for her...Mabel was a
> diabetic who ignored ALL doctors' advice and eventually died from
> complications of diabetes), she said that I didn't need to be there,
> not to go out of my way, and then she hung up on me.

> Whatever

> However, she IS my mother (remember, we can choose our friends, but we
> can't choose our families) and by HER choice I am an only child.
> Therefore, yes, I do have to be there if/when she has surgery

> So....if you could keep her (and I guess me) in your prayers, it would
> be greatly appreciated.

> Thanks

> Larisa, still steaming mad

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by Musicmake » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:59:12


typical "boy who cried wolf" story.  sigh.  I'll definitely be
thinking of both of you today.

Musicmaker

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by Robert » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:48:29


((((Hugs Larisa and mom))))
Making you mad is her way to prove you still care.
Roberta in D

On Wed, 5 Aug 2009 12:39:24 -0700 (PDT), "off kilter

Quote:

>I had a very tense discussion with my mother last night - tense
>because she called after 10pm and the only thing she said was, "Are
>you going to be up for a little while so I can call you when I get
>home?"  OK, ever since we got married, my husband and I have had a "no
>calls after 10pm unless it's an emergency" rule - we got married in
>1997 and there are 2 relatives who consistently break this rule....my
>mother and one of his brothers (his brother can't seem to remember the
>time difference...they are an hour ahead of us and he keeps getting it
>mixed up).

>So, I reminded her of the rule and asked if someone was dying or ill
>or if she had wrecked her car again (she recently blacked out at the
>wheel and instead of calling me - THAT would be considered an
>emergency - she posted on FACEBOOK about it!!!!), she hung up on me.

>I called her back and she gave me attitude about my response.  I asked
>what was wrong and she said that she had gotten some news from her
>doctor.  NOW, if she had said, "I have news from the doctor and I want
>to call you so we can talk about it when I get home" (she was using
>her OnStar at the time), then there would have been no problem, but
>that is NOT what she said.

>Ok...to make a long story short (and save you all the guilt trip ***
>she dumped on me), her doctor informed her that she has a growth on
>the lower right quadrant of her cerebellum, and that is what could be
>causing a lot of the issues she has been having - vision, low oxygen
>levels, balance problems, etc.  They are doing an MRI with contrast on
>Friday morning at 8am to determine the size and exact location and to
>see if they can operate on it.

>I told her that I wanted her to call me when she got any information
>and if/when they decide to do surgery, I will find a way to get up
>there (even if it means pulling the kids from school and enrolling
>them locally for a while).  In typical Mabel fashion (Mabel was her
>mother who cried and tried to guilt people into doing whatever she
>wanted, even knowing full well it wasn't good for her...Mabel was a
>diabetic who ignored ALL doctors' advice and eventually died from
>complications of diabetes), she said that I didn't need to be there,
>not to go out of my way, and then she hung up on me.

>Whatever

>However, she IS my mother (remember, we can choose our friends, but we
>can't choose our families) and by HER choice I am an only child.
>Therefore, yes, I do have to be there if/when she has surgery

>So....if you could keep her (and I guess me) in your prayers, it would
>be greatly appreciated.

>Thanks

>Larisa, still steaming mad

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by onetexsu » Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:55:17


Larissa, I couldn't really answer you well when I read your post last
night because it hit home in a big way. My mom has been the prize
manipulator all her life. Bi-polar, but I really don't think that's
any excuse. I can't tell you how many times over the years she called,
or dropped in unexpectedly (from 800 miles away) to tell me she was
dying.  She even called me once to tell me she'd tried to kill herself
but in the end had called 911 and had her stomach pumped. This at the
end of a fairly "normal" conversation (late at night when my boys were
babies and I was exhausted all the time). Now, she is dying. Still
manipulating. I know she needs me now, but it's hard to put aside all
those years and give her the attention I know she needs. Please feel
free to tell your mom this story, emphasizing that people who jerk
their daughters around for some perversel thrill just may end up alone
and lonely in their final months on earth because even the most loving
of daughters hit a wall sooner or later.

My prayer almost every day is that I will face life with more grace
than my mother has. Larissa, I don't "know" you in person, but I can
tell from your posts a lot about you. You definitely live with grace
and love toward those in your home and in your life. I give you
permission to tell your mother that you need an emotional separation
for a while. Tell her that your children take your energy and she's
draining you and that if it comes to them or her, you choose your kids
and husband.

Mostly I give you permission to walk away from the guilt. You haven't
done anything wrong; you're being manipulated. Nobody forced your
mother to call you late at night. She could have called earlier in the
day or sometime the next day. Nobody forced her to hang up on you.
Remember that you are not your mother and that she doesn't own you or
even have the right of first place in your energy or attention.

Hugs and prayers,
Sunny

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by ME-Jud » Sat, 08 Aug 2009 02:15:28


(((((Hugs))))) and prayers are on their way, Larissa.

ME-Judy


message

Quote:
> Ok...to make a long story short (and save you all the guilt trip ***
> she dumped on me), her doctor informed her that she has a growth on
> the lower right quadrant of her cerebellum, and that is what could be
> causing a lot of the issues she has been having - vision, low oxygen
> levels, balance problems, etc.  They are doing an MRI with contrast on
> Friday morning at 8am to determine the size and exact location and to
> see if they can operate on it.

> I told her that I wanted her to call me when she got any information
> and if/when they decide to do surgery, I will find a way to get up
> there (even if it means pulling the kids from school and enrolling
> them locally for a while).

 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by amy in CN » Sat, 08 Aug 2009 04:44:16


i agree with Sunny. don't let her manipulate you. yes, she is your
mother, but not your keeper.
and it may be that she is acting this way because she knows no other
way to act, and it always gets
your attention.
go and be with her at her appointment, even talk to the doctor/tech
before you leave to see what's what.
amy in CNY
 
 
 

OT: prayer request

Post by Donna in NE La » Sun, 09 Aug 2009 10:38:41


Prayers on the way!

--
Donna in NE La.
kd maine 77 at yahoo dot com

message

Quote:
>I had a very tense discussion with my mother last night - tense
> because she called after 10pm and the only thing she said was, "Are
> you going to be up for a little while so I can call you when I get
> home?"  OK, ever since we got married, my husband and I have had a "no
> calls after 10pm unless it's an emergency" rule - we got married in
> 1997 and there are 2 relatives who consistently break this rule....my
> mother and one of his brothers (his brother can't seem to remember the
> time difference...they are an hour ahead of us and he keeps getting it
> mixed up).

> So, I reminded her of the rule and asked if someone was dying or ill
> or if she had wrecked her car again (she recently blacked out at the
> wheel and instead of calling me - THAT would be considered an
> emergency - she posted on FACEBOOK about it!!!!), she hung up on me.

> I called her back and she gave me attitude about my response.  I asked
> what was wrong and she said that she had gotten some news from her
> doctor.  NOW, if she had said, "I have news from the doctor and I want
> to call you so we can talk about it when I get home" (she was using
> her OnStar at the time), then there would have been no problem, but
> that is NOT what she said.

> Ok...to make a long story short (and save you all the guilt trip ***
> she dumped on me), her doctor informed her that she has a growth on
> the lower right quadrant of her cerebellum, and that is what could be
> causing a lot of the issues she has been having - vision, low oxygen
> levels, balance problems, etc.  They are doing an MRI with contrast on
> Friday morning at 8am to determine the size and exact location and to
> see if they can operate on it.

> I told her that I wanted her to call me when she got any information
> and if/when they decide to do surgery, I will find a way to get up
> there (even if it means pulling the kids from school and enrolling
> them locally for a while).  In typical Mabel fashion (Mabel was her
> mother who cried and tried to guilt people into doing whatever she
> wanted, even knowing full well it wasn't good for her...Mabel was a
> diabetic who ignored ALL doctors' advice and eventually died from
> complications of diabetes), she said that I didn't need to be there,
> not to go out of my way, and then she hung up on me.

> Whatever

> However, she IS my mother (remember, we can choose our friends, but we
> can't choose our families) and by HER choice I am an only child.
> Therefore, yes, I do have to be there if/when she has surgery

> So....if you could keep her (and I guess me) in your prayers, it would
> be greatly appreciated.

> Thanks

> Larisa, still steaming mad