I am needing some ideas on how I can help a friend who obviously needs it.
My friend is a quilter, stay at home mom, loves to garden and cook
etc....until now. All of a sudden she "just doesn't care" about doing the
things she used to love. When I asked her what she WANTS to do...she said
matter of factly "To Die".
She never asks for anything from her hubby. She will go for a year with
quilt tops made (mind you, out of recycled fabric. She's NEVER bought new
fabric EVER), but never batting to finish. Yet she never asks for the money
to buy it. Her hubby will tell her to get the stuff she needs, but she puts
the thought away to get what they need for the kids etc. She can't sew at
night because she doesn't have a light....she told me last night that she
feels like she's never been able to do anything without following something,
cooking with a recipe, quilting with a pattern etc. I tried to tell her
that at least she has the skills to follow a pattern! But she did also
mention that the quilt she gave as a wedding gift was so appreciated, and
the words the couple gave her in thanking just made her day. So that made
me want to help her in at least a quilty way.
The last pair of new shoes she's gotten are now 10 years old. Even her
wedding dress was a hand me down. I think she just wonders when it's going
to be HER turn to be thought about. And I can understand. Being a stay at
home mom means that EVERYONE is dependant on you for something....yet your
entire existence is dependent on your hubby bringing home the bacon.
She has mentioned that when she tries to tell her hubby how she's feeling,
he suggests she go to the doctor for hormone therapy (she IS 45)...but I
truly believe that she needs something that she can have all to herself,
something to focus on. It's not that her hubby doesn't WANT her to shop for
herself, and he really appreciates the quilting she does....but I think he'd
have to hand her a bunch of money and say "Don't come home with any
left!"...otherwise she'd never buy for herself.
So, do you guys have any ideas on how I can help?? My hubby is with hers
right now and probably mentioning things to him...I was thinking maybe if
she refuses to shop for herself he could give ME the money and I'll order a
bunch of goodies FOR her...if it's delivered to her door she can't send it
away! And he would have nothing against me doing that (besides friends,
they are family too). I'm sure he doesn't even realize how very depressed
she is.....any other ideas?? Thank you! I want her to feel like she's got
something to look forward to....