OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Paulin » Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:14:10



I RARELY read or forward jokes, but this one made me laugh out loud - I hope
it tickles your funny bone as well:)

Pauline
Northern California

A TRIP TO  COSTCO...

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying  a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the  Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me  asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So  since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that  no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I  added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital  last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an  intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices  and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a  perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants  pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time  you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works  well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to
mention here that  practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.)  Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the  dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to  sniff
an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought  the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing  so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there  anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have  all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say. Forward  this (especially) to all
your retired friends......it will be their  laugh for the day.

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Mary » Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:45:26


Fabulous!

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Michelle G » Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:32:47


Me too, laughing I mean,
Michelle G.


Quote:
>I RARELY read or forward jokes, but this one made me laugh out loud - I
>hope it tickles your funny bone as well:)

> Pauline
> Northern California

> A TRIP TO  COSTCO...

> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying  a large bag of Purina dog chow
> for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the  Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
> when a woman behind me  asked if I had a dog.

> What did she think I had, an elephant? So  since I'm retired and have
> little to do, on impulse I told her that  no, I didn't have a dog, I was
> starting the Purina Diet again. I  added that I probably shouldn't,
> because I ended up in the hospital  last time, but that I'd lost 50
> pounds before I awakened in an  intensive care ward with tubes coming out
> of most of my orifices  and IVs in both arms.

> I told her that it was essentially a  perfect diet and that the way that
> it works is to load your pants  pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
> eat one or two every time  you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
> complete so it works  well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to
> mention here that  practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
> my story.)  Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
> the  dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to  sniff
> an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

> I thought  the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing  so hard.

> Costco won't let me shop there  anymore.

> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have  all the time in the
> world to think of crazy things to say. Forward  this (especially) to all
> your retired friends......it will be their  laugh for the day.

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Dr. Zachary Smit » Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:22:39


I'm not sure you have to be retired to be that kind of horse's patoot
- My brother & I have been all our lives, and we got it from our dad.
He passed away when I was so young that it must be genetic.

Any time I buy a gallon of milk at the store, and the clerk asks if I
want a bag, (I've gotten so used to this by now I don't even have to
think about it) I reply, "No thanks, I'll drink it here."

When DW & I were dating in high school she worked as a grocery
checkout; I once had her convinced that spam was a genetic cross
between a pig and a cow.  She passed this newly acquired knowledge on
to her boss and co-workers to impress them how much she was learning
about the grocery business.  I'll leave to your imaginations the call
I got from her that evening...

Doc

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by ME-Jud » Sun, 16 Aug 2009 04:55:24


That's just too "doggone" funny!
ME-Judy


Quote:
>I RARELY read or forward jokes, but this one made me laugh out loud - I
>hope it tickles your funny bone as well:)

> Pauline
> Northern California

> A TRIP TO  COSTCO...

> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying  a large bag of Purina dog chow
> for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the  Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
> when a woman behind me  asked if I had a dog.

> What did she think I had, an elephant? So  since I'm retired and have
> little to do, on impulse I told her that  no, I didn't have a dog, I was
> starting the Purina Diet again. I  added that I probably shouldn't,
> because I ended up in the hospital  last time, but that I'd lost 50
> pounds before I awakened in an  intensive care ward with tubes coming out
> of most of my orifices  and IVs in both arms.

> I told her that it was essentially a  perfect diet and that the way that
> it works is to load your pants  pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
> eat one or two every time  you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
> complete so it works  well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to
> mention here that  practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
> my story.)  Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
> the  dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to  sniff
> an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

> I thought  the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing  so hard.

> Costco won't let me shop there  anymore.

> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have  all the time in the
> world to think of crazy things to say. Forward  this (especially) to all
> your retired friends......it will be their  laugh for the day.

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Pat in Virgini » Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:52:32


Ah, but she married you anyhow! (DH did something similar but it was more
believable. We're still married.)
LOL, PAT in VA/USA



Quote:
> I'm not sure you have to be retired to be that kind of horse's patoot
> - My brother & I have been all our lives, and we got it from our dad.
> He passed away when I was so young that it must be genetic.

> Any time I buy a gallon of milk at the store, and the clerk asks if I
> want a bag, (I've gotten so used to this by now I don't even have to
> think about it) I reply, "No thanks, I'll drink it here."

> When DW & I were dating in high school she worked as a grocery
> checkout; I once had her convinced that spam was a genetic cross
> between a pig and a cow.  She passed this newly acquired knowledge on
> to her boss and co-workers to impress them how much she was learning
> about the grocery business.  I'll leave to your imaginations the call
> I got from her that evening...

> Doc

 
 
 

OT: Joke for those of us that are retired & have QI's

Post by Pat in Virgini » Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:53:02


Yep, it sure tickled my funny BONE! PAT


Quote:
> That's just too "doggone" funny!
> ME-Judy