Had an appt this morning with the oncologist. I expected to then go
into the treatment room, but he cancelled the chemo. I have lab
slips for *** work and a cat scan instead. Luckily, I caught Mom in the
parking lot and so she didn't spend the day here. heh heh.
He had talked at length with the DC Dr that Dana and I had gone to.
The DC dr thinks there's a good chance that instead of colorectal
cancer, I might have non-ovarian ovarian cancer. Apparently because
it's all over my stomach area, that could mean ovarian cancer. This
could be good, because ovarian cancer means a whole other set of
***, which with any luck might actually shrink the tumors.
I told the local onc that I was very upset after leaving the DC dr
because he made it sound like I was dying. This doctor confirmed
that what I have will probably be fatal. He did not give me a time
frame, and I wouldn't want him to. I have no idea how to tell my
family this news. Maybe I shouldn't tell them at all, since I don't
feel sick yet. When the cancer gets worse, they will see for
I've already told my kids that there's a 5% chance I'll still be here in 5
years. I told my husband today what the dr. said and probably ruined his day.
It's my sibs and mom I can't tell. I think if I just keep fighting - they will
see for themselves that I did the best I could.
What a pisser to go through a hysterectomy and still get ovarian
cancer. I was sure that surgery would guarantee me from ever having
problems in that area. Sigh.
BTW, don't think I'm giving up the fight because of what he said. If none of
his chemos work, there are still many clinical trials within an hour of here.
Even if I'm just fighting for more time, that's worth fighting for. I'd love
to dance at Emily's bat mitzvah, but I'll be happy just to attend. (She's
almost 8, so that's about 5 years from now). I'm taking the grandkids to
Disney in the spring, even if I have to rent a scooter to get around. I have a
lot of travel planned in the next couple of years, I want to go while I still
feel well enough to do it.
(Bubbee to Emily and Nathan)