On 06 January 2002, I lost my Dearest (paternal) Grandmother, Lili. Now
I no longer have any grandparents alive :( She was very much the mother
(and then some) mine never was or could've been. Lili and I were very
close, and I miss her terribly already. But at 89, she was very frail,
tired, and was so ready to go.
My family and I absolutely know she only waited so she could "see" us
for the holidays (she was nearly blind with macular degeneration).
After Christmas, we returned home to Illinois, only to go back to
Alabama a week later because she declined so quickly, mercifully.
Thankfully, my father returned to AL to see her one last time about 12
hours before she passed away.
Her memorial Mass was on 08 January. During her service, my uncle said
a few words and read the "May I Go Now?" poem. This poem had been
shared on RCTN a few months ago, and I just want to say how much comfort
it has given me before my grandmother died, and especially now that
she's gone. It still chokes me up and brings tears to my eyes everytime
I read it. After her service, many of my AL relatives expressed their
appreciation for this poem and how truly appropriate it was.
So, I wish to thank Jim M. and Nicola (and everyone else) for sharing
this poem on RCTN. I was asked by my uncle to also extend his gratitude
to RCTN regarding the the "May I Go Now?" poem. He read it beautifully
during my grandmother's service. There was no way I could've read it as
I would've broken up sobbing because I would have had to use my voice (I
bet a lot of y'all know what I mean?). I'm sure everyone at my
grandmother's service had a tear (or two or more) in their eyes while my
uncle read it - I know I did.
Anywhoo, I treasure RCTN and all the folk I've come to know and love
here. I'm blessed by y'all's virtual presence at my side.
hmardis at uiuc dot edu
"reply to" address antispammed -- frog the xxx.
P.S. I've included the poem below, and I've signed it "anonymous"
because a search on Google revealed too many different authors' names
attributed to it, including anonymous.
May I Go Now?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go
I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.