"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by JokeM » Thu, 12 Sep 1996 04:00:00



"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Have you ever been in a social situation where everybody has a funny
joke to tell . . . everyone except you?

This will never happen to you if you order:  "The Funniest Dirty Jokes
of All Time."

This amazing compilation of zany, ***, original material will have
everyone laughing hysterically, and is yours for just $1.00.  

Yes, for just a dollar you . . . can be the life of the party!

Send $1.00 in a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:  

Joke Man
1517 E. Trenton
Fresno, CA  93720

 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Jean Claws » Fri, 13 Sep 1996 04:00:00


WHY do we keep getting posts like this? Are people REALLY so hard up
for a dollar they're willing to SELL dirty jokes? SHEESH!
Mr. JokeMan, I do believe there is a prerequisite that one think
"***, original material" is anything more OR less than disgusting!
Something tells me MOST of the people on this ng are NOT in that
category!

-Jean Clawson

Quote:

>"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"
>Have you ever been in a social situation where everybody has a funny
>joke to tell . . . everyone except you?
>This will never happen to you if you order:  "The Funniest Dirty Jokes
>of All Time."
>This amazing compilation of zany, ***, original material will have
>everyone laughing hysterically, and is yours for just $1.00.  
>Yes, for just a dollar you . . . can be the life of the party!
>Send $1.00 in a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:  
>Joke Man
>1517 E. Trenton
>Fresno, CA  93720


 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by AJ Shjef » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00


You are correct in your summation.  However, let me tell you how to deal
with these individuals.  First, DO NOT REPLY to them in any way.
Especially do not repeat their message.  That is exactly what they want
you to do.  These people enjoy seeing bandwidth used up by their stupid,
***ographic, and/or illegal stuff.

Second, do a reply but instead of sending it to them, send it to
postmaster at their ISP.  These people will usually end up with their
accounts terminated.  This is especially true if they are using a
government or university (such as this guy) system.  These ISPs have no
sense of humor and will bring the offender up on disciplinary charges.
I have send this to his ISP.  

The more these people are ignored, the better it will become.  Just some
friendly advice.  Ann

Quote:

> WHY do we keep getting posts like this? Are people REALLY so hard up
> for a dollar they're willing to SELL dirty jokes? SHEESH!
> Mr. JokeMan, I do believe there is a prerequisite that one think
> "***, original material" is anything more OR less than disgusting!
> Something tells me MOST of the people on this ng are NOT in that
> category!

> -Jean Clawson

Opinions expressed herein are my own and may not represent those of my employer.
 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Polar Bea » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00


Quote:

> Second, do a reply but instead of sending it to them, send it to
> postmaster at their ISP.  These people will usually end up with their
> accounts terminated.  This is especially true if they are using a
> government or university (such as this guy) system.  These ISPs have no
> sense of humor and will bring the offender up on disciplinary charges.
> I have send this to his ISP.  

While this is true in some cases, these spammers have become rather good at
spoofing their account names. Carefully examine the Headers of these post
and look for the NNTP address. That is the machine that the post was sent
from.


their e-mail address is.com. It is probably a fake.
--
Polar Bear

 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Alan Gedanc » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00


Quote:

> You are correct in your summation.  However, let me tell you how to deal
> with these individuals.  First, DO NOT REPLY to them in any way.
> Especially do not repeat their message.  That is exactly what they want
> you to do.  These people enjoy seeing bandwidth used up by their stupid,
> ***ographic, and/or illegal stuff.

> Second, do a reply but instead of sending it to them, send it to
> postmaster at their ISP.  These people will usually end up with their
> accounts terminated.  This is especially true if they are using a
> government or university (such as this guy) system.  These ISPs have no
> sense of humor and will bring the offender up on disciplinary charges.
> I have send this to his ISP.  

> The more these people are ignored, the better it will become.  Just some
> friendly advice.  Ann

Frequently posters of spams somehow manage to show a false e-mail address
in the "From:" line of the header.  A complaint sent to this false address
will do no good.  However, some newsreaders permit the option of a "full
header" which gives much more information about the message, and seems to
show every leg of the path that the posting has taken to your internet
server.  From left to right the path shows the most recent leg to the
least recent, which seems to be the point of origin.  I have had good luck
sending complaints to the postmaster at this assumed point of origin.

Good luck in stamping out these spams!

 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Finn Jorgens » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00



|>
|> > You are correct in your summation.  However, let me tell you how to deal
|> > with these individuals.  First, DO NOT REPLY to them in any way.
|> > Especially do not repeat their message.  That is exactly what they want
|> > you to do.  These people enjoy seeing bandwidth used up by their stupid,
|> > ***ographic, and/or illegal stuff.
|> >
|> > Second, do a reply but instead of sending it to them, send it to
|> > postmaster at their ISP.  These people will usually end up with their
|> > accounts terminated.  This is especially true if they are using a
|> > government or university (such as this guy) system.  These ISPs have no
|> > sense of humor and will bring the offender up on disciplinary charges.
|> > I have send this to his ISP.  
|> >
|> > The more these people are ignored, the better it will become.  Just some
|> > friendly advice.  Ann
|>
|> Frequently posters of spams somehow manage to show a false e-mail address
|> in the "From:" line of the header.  A complaint sent to this false address
|> will do no good.  However, some newsreaders permit the option of a "full
|> header" which gives much more information about the message, and seems to
|> show every leg of the path that the posting has taken to your internet
|> server.  From left to right the path shows the most recent leg to the
|> least recent, which seems to be the point of origin.  I have had good luck
|> sending complaints to the postmaster at this assumed point of origin.
|>
|> Good luck in stamping out these spams!

In this case, the header contained :

Subject: "The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"
Date: 11 Sep 1996 07:26:03 GMT
Organization: California State University, Fresno
Lines: 19

NNTP-Posting-Host: usr2-1-ppp7.pub.csufresno.edu


The postmaster sent me a kind andswer telling me that this idiot
had his account suspended.

We only have to hope that the message gets through, but, alas, an idiot
is born every minute and september is the time where many idiots get
their Internet account, so we may expect more of the kind.

Finn

--

IFSIC, bureau TB122, Universite de Rennes
Campus de Beaulieu, 35042 RENNES CEDEX, FRANCE

 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Chris de Be » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00



Quote:

> "The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

> Have you ever been in a social situation where everybody has a funny
> joke to tell . . . everyone except you?

> This will never happen to you if you order:  "The Funniest Dirty Jokes
> of All Time."

> This amazing compilation of zany, ***, original material will have
> everyone laughing hysterically, and is yours for just $1.00.  

> Yes, for just a dollar you . . . can be the life of the party!

> Send $1.00 in a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:  

> Joke Man
> 1517 E. Trenton
> Fresno, CA  93720

> I hope that I am not the only one to tell you to #$%^& off!!!!!!!!! to some

humor page or the other
 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Chris de Be » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00



Quote:

> You are correct in your summation.  However, let me tell you how to deal
> with these individuals.  First, DO NOT REPLY to them in any way.
> Especially do not repeat their message.  That is exactly what they want
> you to do.  These people enjoy seeing bandwidth used up by their stupid,
> ***ographic, and/or illegal stuff.

> Second, do a reply but instead of sending it to them, send it to
> postmaster at their ISP.  These people will usually end up with their
> accounts terminated.  This is especially true if they are using a
> government or university (such as this guy) system.  These ISPs have no
> sense of humor and will bring the offender up on disciplinary charges.
> I have send this to his ISP.  

>>>How does one find out the postmasters address? please let me know, so that

I can join in the good fight.
Quote:
> The more these people are ignored, the better it will become.  Just some
> friendly advice.  Ann


> > WHY do we keep getting posts like this? Are people REALLY so hard up
> > for a dollar they're willing to SELL dirty jokes? SHEESH!
> > Mr. JokeMan, I do believe there is a prerequisite that one think
> > "***, original material" is anything more OR less than disgusting!
> > Something tells me MOST of the people on this ng are NOT in that
> > category!

> > -Jean Clawson

> Opinions expressed herein are my own and may not represent those of my employer.

 
 
 

"The Funniest Dirty Jokes of All Time"

Post by Kirk Ha » Sat, 14 Sep 1996 04:00:00


Quote:
>While this is true in some cases, these spammers have become rather good at
>spoofing their account names. Carefully examine the Headers of these post
>and look for the NNTP address. That is the machine that the post was sent
>from.


>their e-mail address is.com. It is probably a fake.

Exactly correct.  It's not hard to spoof an account name.

As a public service, I forward on the following shar file, which originated
with Bill McFadden.

The attached is the original, I found a bit of customization was
helpful - I can now complain about a spam with a single keystroke
from my newsreader.  I also found it had a couple of problems with
the `fmt' command.

Enjoy.  Be polite to the postmasters - they all seem to appreciate
a bit of wry humor.

Incidently, I can confirm that "jokeman" had his account yanked
for the posting in question - his postmaster sent me a "thank you"
note for my speedy complaint (about 5 minutes between his posting,
and my expedited complaint).

---
Kirk Hays
[I don't speak for Sequent.]

===================cut here


Article: 27721 of pdx.forsale
Path: scel.sequent.com!gateway.sequent.com!uunet!in3.uu.net!news.tek.com!tiktok.cse.tek.com!bill

Newsgroups: alt.sources,news.admin.net-abuse.misc,alt.current-events.net-abuse,misc.consumers,misc.consumers.house,misc.forsale.computers.discussion,misc.forsale.non-computer,alt.satellite.tv.forsale,pdx.forsale,or.forsale,pnw.forsale,ba.forsale,ca.forsale
Subject: adcomplain - Unix script to complain about commercial postings/e-mail
Followup-To: alt.sources.d
Date: 1 Sep 1996 09:00:11 GMT
Organization: Tektronix, Inc, Beaverton, OR, USA
Lines: 500
Distribution: world

NNTP-Posting-Host: tiktok.cse.tek.com
Archive-name: adcomplain

Xref: scel.sequent.com news.admin.net-abuse.misc:88394 misc.consumers:140036 misc.consumers.house:123826 misc.forsale.computers.discussion:5025 misc.forsale.non-computer:28681 pdx.forsale:27721 or.forsale:20659 pnw.forsale:17089 ba.forsale:10167 ca.forsale:16094

Crossposted to newsgroups to which author believes it is of general interest.

[Last modified 29-Aug-96]

The latest version of this file can be accessed via my web page:
http://www.rdrop.com/users/billmc

NEW:

  Changed message content slightly.

  Changed header parsing slightly.

COMING SOON:

  Starting soon, I will post the complete source only to alt.sources and a
  short note in other relevant newsgroups with a pointer to the source.

#! /bin/sh
# This is a shell archive.  Remove anything before this line, then unpack
# it by saving it into a file and typing "sh file".  To overwrite existing
# files, type "sh file -c".  You can also feed this as standard input via
# unshar, or by typing "sh <file", e.g..  If this archive is complete, you
# will see the following message at the end:
#               "End of shell archive."
# Contents:  adcomplain

PATH=/bin:/usr/bin:/usr/ucb ; export PATH
if test -f adcomplain -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then
  echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"adcomplain\"
else
echo shar: Extracting \"adcomplain\" \(14021 characters\)
sed "s/^X//" >adcomplain <<'END_OF_adcomplain'
X#!/bin/csh
X
X## adcomplain 3.48   29-Aug-96
X## Bill McFadden

X##
X## SYNOPSIS
X##
X##   adcomplain [-f filename] [-m] [-q] [-v] [newsgroup]
X##
X## DESCRIPTION
X##   Composes and mails a complaint about inappropriate commercial use of
X##   Usenet/e-mail.  Sends complaint to the postmaster of the offending
X##   site by default, but destination is configurable.  Can be used with as
X##   few as three keystrokes.
X##
X##   This was created in the belief that a single, concise message is the
X##   most appropriate way to complain.  Mail bombing (e-mailing megabytes
X##   of useless data) and public flaming (replying on Usenet, causing your
X##   complaint to be duplicated on every machine in the network) are
X##   discouraged.
X##
X## USAGE
X##   Pipe the Usenet posting or e-mail (use the -m or -f option for e-mail)
X##   through this script.  It will compose the message and display it for
X##   approval before mailing.
X##
X##   You may supply a newsgroup name (or comma separated newsgroups list)
X##   as the last argument.  If not supplied, the contents of the
X##   'Newsgroups' header, if present, will be used.  Note: Very long
X##   newsgroup lists can cause errors.  The newsgroup name is not needed
X##   when using the -f and -m options.
X##
X## OPTIONS
X##   -f filename
X##     You may supply the name of a file to be used as the complaint text.
X##     This feature is useful for complaining about other kinds of
X##     inappropriate postings, such as Make Money Fast.  If filename is not
X##     supplied, the default text will be used.
X##   -m
X##     Mail mode.  Composes and mails a complaint about junk e-mail.  You
X##     may also supply your own complaint text with the -f option.
X##   -q
X##     Quiet mode.  Doesn't ask any questions except whether to send the
X##     message.
X##   -v
X##     Verbose mode.  Diagnostic messages will be printed.
X##
X## NEWSREADER CONFIGURATION
X##   rn, trn, and strn users can put the following in their .rnmac file to
X##   map adcomplain to the 'a' key:
X##
X##   a %(%m=[pa]?|adcomplain %C\n:a)
X##
X##   nn users can put the following in their .nn/init file to map adcomplain
X##   to ctrl-A:
X##
X##   map both ^A (
X##   :!! cat /dev/null > /tmp/junk$(USER)
X##   save-full "//tmp/junk$(USER)"
X##   :! echo; adcomplain $G < /tmp/junk$(USER)
X##   :!! rm -rf /tmp/junk$(USER)
X##   )
X##
X## THEORY OF OPERATION
X##   The program used to display the message prior to mailing is:
X##     $PAGER, if defined,
X##     otherwise, use more.
X##
X##   The editor is:
X##     $VISUAL, if defined,
X##     otherwise, use $EDITOR, if defined,
X##     otherwise, use vi.
X##
X##   The header parsing algorithm is described below:
X##
X##   $subject
X##     Use contents of "Subject" header.
X##
X##   $newsgroup
X##     Use command line argument, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "Newsgroups" header.
X##     Insert spaces after commas, if any, separating newsgroup names.
X##
X##   $poster
X##     Use contents of "NNTP-Posting-User" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "Return-Path" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "Reply-To" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "From" header.

X##       incompletely specified).
X##
X##   $poster1
X##     Set to $poster.
X##     If $poster1 is of form "Name <address>", set to "address".
X##
X##   $host
X##     Use contents of "NNTP-Posting-Host" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "Message-ID" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use contents of "Sender" header, if available,
X##     otherwise, use $poster.


X##     Remove extra words, in case header if of form "address (Name)"
X##     Reject any header that begins with a digit (i.e., is an IP address) or
X##       does not contain a '.' (i.e., is incompletely specified).
X##
X##   $site
X##     If last field of $host >= 3 characters long (e.g., "com", "edu"),
X##       set $site to last two fields (e.g., "company.com" or "college.edu"),
X##     otherwise, set $site to last three fields (e.g., "canadian.site.ca").
X##     [Occasionally this leaves the site name underdetermined, but it is
X##     usually more successful than using the entire host name.]
X##
X##   $postmaster
X##     Use contents of "X-Complain-To" header, if available,


X##       incompletely specified).
X##


X##   otherwise, message will be addressed to $poster.
X##
X
Xset cc = $user
X
X## CONFIGURATION SECTION ##
X
X## this section lets you choose the default recipient(s) of the complaint
X## 1 = poster only, 2 = postmaster only, 3 = both
Xset recipient = 2
X
X## remove this section if you want a copy of the complaint sent to you
Xset cc
X
X## remove this section to include a copy of the posting every time

Xset noinclude
X
X## remove this section if your mailer automatically adds your .signature
Xset addsig
X
X## remove this section if your system uses the BSDI version of 'fmt'
X## (this is indicated by the message text being incorrectly formatted)
Xset nobsdi
X
X## this is the default name of the file to use for the complaint text
X## if the file name is empty, the default text will be used
Xset textfile = ""
X
X## this is the name of the mail utility (see sendmail(8) man page)
Xset mailcmd = "/usr/lib/sendmail -t"
X
X## parse command line options
Xwhile ( 1 )
X       switch( $1 )
X               case -f:
X                       shift
X                       set textfile = "$1"
X                       shift
X                       breaksw
X               case -m:
X                       set mailmode
X                       shift
X                       breaksw
X               case -q:
X                       set quiet
X                       shift
X                       breaksw
X               case -v:
X                       set verb
X                       shift
X                       breaksw
X               default:
X                       break
X       endsw
Xend
X
X## copy original Usenet posting from stdin
Xset noglob
Xset dest = /tmp/$user-$$
Xcat >$dest-1
X
X## parse headers
Xset d = '$'
Xif ( $?verb ) echo "adcomplain: subject: looking for 'Subject' header..."
Xset subject = "`sed -n '/^Subject: /{s/^Subject: \(.*\)/\1/;p;q;}' $dest-1`"
Xif ( "$subject" == "" ) then
X       echo ""
X       echo "adcomplain: error: subject not found"
X       echo ""
Xelse
X       if ( $?verb ) echo
...

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